FILM REVIEW | Bass Ackwards, by Linas Phillips

(director-writer-star Linas Phillips, left, & Jim Fletcher (as Jim), right, draining their main veins along the roadside)

With a title like Bass Ackwards, you’re almost expecting an elusive old curve ball to whiffle right by you at practically any moment. Thankfully, Linas Phillips’ maiden feature film absolutely refuses to disappoint.

From just about the first frame to the last , we’re delicately coaxed into an Ur-world of protagonist Linas’ making, as he rolls, ever so gingerly down the freeway in his rickety sooped-up VW bug, left to right on the continental US map in a bid to make it back to his native New York whole.

Linas eventually does, to be sure, but when our Lithuanian big man reaches the Big Apple, like the Biblical Adam, Linas is forever altered.

So what’s the big spiel with this Linas guy? Why is he so upset? And where does all of this angst come from?! A good-looking young kid. Tall. Blue eyes. Adonis-like straight hair. Strapping and all that. Potential up the yin-yang, you’d say, right?

Well, you’d think so.

While Linas’ “on-paper” signs point to good pedigree and finer genetic makeup…something’s happening inside. A rumbling and a stirring. Linas is deeply unsettled. He doesn’t know what he wants to do in life.

Does he want to work with kids? Does Linas want to shoot wedding videos? Does he want to work on that alpaca farm for his daily bread, scooping shit piles and sleeping on an air mattress on a slat floor with a Bunsen burner, ersatz coffee, and some jerk-off mags for company? What the frick does Linas want?!

This is what we’re left with throughout Bass Ackwards’ playback.

What sets Linas off?

(Linas & Davie-Blue as “Georgia”)

Since Linas’ is a journey of mythical, Biblical proportions, be on the lookout for an inciting incident of Abrahamic or Jacobean magnitude. Enter the lovely Georgia (portrayed by yummy Davie-Blue, with serenity).

Stuck in a loveless marriage with a husband whose daily banter is as fascinating as a bushel of carrots, Georgia gets a vigorous shag on with her boy-toy Linas in area hotel rooms as they shnab it up over cheap vino and endless games of “Go Fish!”

It’s not the most ideal situation, but a woman’s got to get what a female needs, and Linas is only too happy to roll up his sleeves and run the flag up the pole.

Little does Georgia realize that Linas isn’t out for just the fencing session. He’s falling for this lass, hard. Though patient and steadfast, he eventually realizes that she’s not really his, even though the pair rarely express it. Still, it hardly changes reality.

When Linas’ erstwhile generous brother boots him out the latter’s conjugal apartment where Linas has been holing up – rent-free – for the past little while, Linas checks the local listings for a McJob to tide him over in the interim, hoping – nay, praying – that his beloved Georgia will eventually see the light of their superior union and muster the needed courage to leave El Loser Husband for all time.

Linas finds work as an alpaca poop scooper (I kid you not!), and after attending to the beasts for a spell, he convinces his boss to let him have that beat-up VW love mobile the boss has got rusting away over in the barn.

With all the pieces seemingly falling into place, Linas heads for Georgia’s row house to make her an offer she can’t possibly refuse: a cross-country tour on a beeline for New York, where they can start a fresh life out east…together.

Georgia nixes it. Visibly crushed, Linas sallies forth anyway. And our adventure begins…

(a new friend?)

A new wingman?

As he crisscrosses the continental forty-eight, Linas gets stuck into all sorts of situations. He encounters all manner of Midwestern charlatans and bogeymen: tattooed MILFs who are already spoken for, knuckleheaded gay-curious guys clad in Stetson hats and wifebeaters, impressionable high school girls in search of a random boink, and some guy named Jim.

Yep, that’s right, Jimbo.

Who the hell’s Jim?

Jim’s a curious fellow.

He basically invites himself into Linas’ life, though he divulges little about his personal circumstances until well into their journey, now across several states. Jim appears – to the best of Linas’ recollection — to be very interested in barn architecture, infidelity plays, toking ganja, spliff paraphernalia, and a dually perplexing — though simultaneously fascinating –- penchant for swilling over-the-counter cough syrup as an alcohol-like discombobulating substance in combination with his regular doses of THC as a means of getting shitfaced.

Children watching this flicker picture would be advised not to emulate Jim’s seemingly addictive behavior, though as Jim’s guard comes down in front of Linas (brought about by the “Dutch courage” afforded to him by the intoxicating daily cocktail of dreck pumping through the middle-aged man’s bloodstream), it brings the two of them closer together in their joint malaise.

Jim’s another one of America’s walking wounded; separated and a single father, with a hot young girlfriend in tow he’s been playing hide the salami with in his spare time, Jim, too, appears completely aimless in life, wafting about from one encounter to the next – sleeplessly, even, the poor dude – with his only raison d’être in life to get to O’Hare Airport so he can get back to New York for some mysterious reason or another.

Linas volunteers to get Jim where he needs to go, a duty he now seems to bear out of solidarity with Jim’s plight. Misery loving company, Jim and Linas bond amidst the depths of their respective funks, turning a potential disastrous meeting of the minds into the joy of fast friendship, not fast love. Jim – despite having a phallus and being approximately fifteen years Linas’ elder – has turned out to be the better road companion, exceedingly moreso than the cuckolding Georgia might have ever been.

(Jim Fletcher as himself, with Linas)

Going away to come back…

Linas strangely learns more about himself and his life’s true purpose in all his circle-jerking meandering than he did in all the time he squandered at Georgia’s bedside.

Most poignant of all is Linas’ eventual meeting with Vic (Paul Lazar), the Nowheresville station attendant moonlighting as a special needs caregiver at a local handicapped hospital.

Vic, too, walks among the living hurt, father to an autistic tot and a late, deceased daughter, who commiserates one evening with Linas following some much-needed repairs to the latter’s rusting jalopy.

Over brewskis, Vic peels back another layer of Linas’ onion skin, revealing the hidden sparks resident in Linas’ soul, speaking deeply to Linas’ purpose, and reaffirming the latter’s faith in humanity, clearing our confused man’s slate of putrefying horsepuckey he’s picked up in the weeks and months being Georgia’s shameless booty call.

Meeting Vic is yet another of the important milestones along Linas’ journey to his parents’ suburban New York home – his final destination. Thanks to Vic, Linas relieves himself of another burden which he abandons at roadside, to be feasted on like carrion by the highway’s robotic driving masses.

(the VW bug)

Ultimate victory?

As he rolls into New York, Linas contacts Jim, who promised way back in Illinois that if Linas ever made it to New York to give him a call.

Relieved to have arrived east in his sputtering chariot, his reunion with Jim is nothing short of monumental.

Frying pan to the cauldron-like, Jim is all aflutter: his mixed-race daughter, Shona, has apparently vanished, and Jimbo unexpectedly recruits Linas in an effort to track her down in the bowels of NY’s Subway. They eventually find her, but deep within the festering underbelly of the big city, Linas unearths yet another secret about his life’s mission, reaffirming his faith in humanity, confirming his belief in the new direction he’s chosen for himself, and solidifying his camaraderie with Jim, the father figure Linas seems to have never seen in his blue-collar electrician dad.

As the end credits roll, we rest assured that Linas finds himself exactly where he’s supposed to be. Real life as we know it.

The highlight reel

Thanks to producer Thomas Woodrow for making the streaming download available on extremely short notice. (By the way, the picture can be seen here YouTube VOD):

• Linas crushed the lead: I loved the way director-writer-star Phillips emoted in this picture. Every conflict scene was picture-perfect, played to the hilt with maximum effect by our protagonist – and yes – I believed absolutely every one of Linas’ interactions in this film. Phillips sold them all. Each scene brought a believable degree of authenticity to a very successful overall indie effort.
• Davie-Blue was a most charismatic female foil: Kudos to the director for pressing the Georgia character into service with just the needed amount of screen time. Davie-Blue was not only charming and attractive, but she had that lovely girl-next-door appeal which makes most men inexplicably doolally. It’s at once clear why Linas is punch-drunk at the prospect of becoming her main squeeze and man-tool.
• way to use the props, baby! Bigup to the production squad for sourcing Linas’ VW bug, a vehicle which – mais oui! – took on a personality of its own, a character in its own right. Between it, Linas’ piercing gaze, and Jim’s unending roach habit, we bow fulsomely to our film’s holy trinity.

Bass Ackwards is a cute little indie flick that indeed deserves all the praise it’s already received.

If you haven’t seen it yet and you actually have the chutzpah to refer to yourself as a “filmmaker,” then chop-chop, kids! Time to catch an eyeful of the Linas Phillips goodness.

Bass Ackwards is presently doing the festival circuit. Producer Thomas Woodrow is available here on Twitter.

And if you like what you’ve read today, let Film Courage know! We pen grassroots, schmaltz-free – though witty as all get-out — film reviews for your independent picture. The summaries are then available off our site and also on a cornucopia of social media sites and other e-real estate. If you’d like us to do one up for you, kindly contact us at filmcourage@gmail.com and we’ll send you further instructions on how to follow-up. Today’s review was written by Adam Daniel Mezei, PMD.